


Radio Silence

by Tiaralie



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: "haha what if we met up in 10 years lol" "k", Angst, I hate it here, Koga is an emotional mess but can you blame him, M/M, idk which timeline we're in but it sure ain't the canon one, sadness ensues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:09:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23491447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tiaralie/pseuds/Tiaralie
Summary: Through all these years, nothing happened. Nothing but half-written texts that were eyed for too long before being discarded. Maybe some simple conversations that wouldn't last past the second message.Nothing but shy fingers hovering over the 'like' button on social media but backing out before pressing it.Nothing else. Just this never-ending silence.And after all that, Koga wasn't sure he had the guts to face him today.
Relationships: Akehoshi Subaru/Oogami Kouga
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	Radio Silence

**Author's Note:**

> I just really like feeling sad, yknow

Koga sneezed.

It's been a while since he felt _this_ cold, but with the recent drop of temperatures, it was to be expected. Still, he hoped the weather wouldn't be awful today, especially since he knew was going to wait _outside_.

This was a stupid idea. Coming here was a stupid idea. Everything about this plan was stupid, and yet there he was, standing in the middle of a deserted courtyard, having an internal conflict about whether or not he should sit near the fountain.

He got a few glances from students who had the courage to still be there so late in the evening, probably wondering what a grown adult was doing at a school for idols.

Well, he sure damn wished he could answer that with confidence.

But sadly he could not.

Certainly because saying " _that boy I had a crush on in high school made me promise to meet him here in 10 years_ " wasn't the most convincing thing to say. Plus, it 100% sounded better in his head.

But, the point was, that he, the great Koga Oogami, ex-member of UNDEAD and prideful wolf, was standing alone in the cold like a loser because of a promise he made ten years ago.

And the more the time passed, the more anxious he got. His brain kept on flashing him memories of when it all happened, and that one annoying part of his consciousness introduced him to what he liked to call _bullshit thoughts_.

Like the fact that **_he_ ** probably moved on, that **_he_ ** maybe had a family now, or at least, **_he_ ** was with someone.

And even though the more reasonable part of him tried to pull through by saying stuff like " _it would have been all over the news"_ or something, it always came down to the same conclusion: **_he_ ** moved on.

While he, Koga Oogami the Great, was waiting for someone who would never come.

The feeling sunk deep and made his stomach hurt, but it wasn't like he could do anything about it now. He was probably the biggest idiot around anyway. 

He checked his phone, with the imbecilic hope that it would light up with a message.

But no. Of course it didn't. The asshole certainly changed numbers by the time.

Koga considered leaving, but his feet were stuck to the ground. _Oh look_ , he didn't want to go! Because he was stupid, because he really thought someone stupider than him was going to show up all of a sudden, hug him and do as if they saw each other all week. If the pain striking his leg wasn't already enough, he had to add another layer of discomfort by standing still like a goddamn statue.

When he took a step forward, the chill air stopped him almost immediately.

Someone was coming.

Someone was _here_. 

Koga forgot how to breathe for a hot minute. He couldn't process everything, every emotion that was going through him.

The face that appeared before him made him lose every notion of balance he had, and he flinched. Hard.

_Fuck_ , his leg almost gave up there.

"Gami-san…" the boy called out to him, taking a few steps forward.

Koga took approximately two steps back. "Akehoshi." he blurted out, quick, too quick. Was he supposed to say something else? Probably. What, he didn't know, but _probably_.

_Subaru Akehoshi_. The kid didn't change one bit from the last time he saw him. He didn't have the looks of a 27 years old, which he would gladly mock if he himself didn't stay roughly the same.

Too bad it was just another excuse for him to remember.

Those deep blue eyes watched him thoroughly with the same affection as when they were dumb kids, and all of a sudden Koga regained hope that there might still be a chance. But he wished he didn't feel the need to cling to signs so little, so Akehoshi-like, so vain it meant nothing in the end.

He felt something wet form into the corner of his eye, and stood dazzled as realization hit him that he wanted to _cry_ . He wanted to yell at Akehoshi for that one, for making him go on the verge of tears by just _appearing_.

And by looking at his face again he was almost shocked to find something he was apparently too blinded to see just a moment ago; fatigue, hell, no, _exhaustion_. His bright eyes, which he could only see through what he assumed were the boy's "disguise glasses", were enveloped by big dark circles.

Koga wondered how he did not notice it at first glance, but quickly came to the conclusion that he did not want to notice it in the first place.

He didn't say another word, preoccupied by whether or not his voice would break into pitiful weeping if he dared to make a sound.

Akehoshi did took notice of this, apparently, because he took some other steps forward and tentatively reached out his hand.

The sound that came out of his mouth a second later didn't seem real.

"I missed you."

_Holy shit_. Horror strained Koga’s face the moment he took the other's voice in. It sounded awfully tired, ready to break at any moment.

And yet this idiot still found the strength to smile at him with an infuriating kindness.

He was going to leave this academy even more emotionally damaged than the first time, wasn't he?

He didn't have time to mourn over his losses now, though, because Akehoshi was there, with his hand extended out, inviting him to do _something_.

Oh,screw it. If he was going to regret everything he ever done up until this point, better make it worth it.

Koga grabbed Akehoshi’s hand with his own and pulled him into a hug. It was so sudden he felt his leg twitch, but he wasn't going to comment on that.

Hugging the boy instead of being hug by him was weird, especially because of how weak he felt right now. He had someone else's body against his own, but he didn't feel warmer at all. Hell, he felt even colder.

This was not how it was supposed to go.

"Gami-san…?" Akehoshi could barely mutter his name correctly, probably too surprised by, oh Lord, a _display of affection_ by Koga Oogami himself.

"Shut up, don't touch me…" Koga tried to respond with an irritated voice, but it only came out as a weak, sobbing one.

They stayed like this for a little too long, in a silent discomfort that certainly couldn't please the both of them.

But still, it was nothing compared to the never-ending ten-year long radio silence that took over their relationship since they first left the gates of Yumenosaki.

Maybe if Koga stayed in the industry, it could have been different. Maybe if he didn't have that accident, they wouldn't be rotting in a period of their lives where they were supposed to bloom.

Akehoshi managed to stay, yeah. But looking at him now, he wondered if it was for the best. _How did you even end up like that?_ Was what he wanted to ask. But the answer would be painful, would hurt him even more, and Koga, who was already laying dead on the ground, didn't need that all.

The silence was interrupted by Akehoshi’s voice, low and strained. "How have you been?"

_How have I been?! How have YOU been, you idiot! What even happened to you?!_

These words never left Koga’s mouth, though. "Fine," he lied. "Well, except for, you know… The leg."

He felt hands on his back, trying to hold him a little tighter. "Right. Shouldn't have asked," Akehoshi chuckled, sad and broken, far from the one he secretly loved to hear all these years ago.

They didn't say much after that, and if they did it didn't matter as much. Their relationship had hit rock-bottom long ago, nothing they would say could change that. Maybe they talked about Akehoshi’s career, how Trickstar was rising to top popularity, as well as how well UNDEAD was doing, even without Koga. The wolf stepped out of the scene long ago, and even now he couldn't see himself jumping back on.

Near what was to be interpreted as the sad end of their encounter, Akehoshi mentioned the idea of giving him spare tickets to Trickstar's next live.

Koga had to ponder the thought. Seeing Akehoshi on stage wasn't bad on its own, hell, he already saw the guy on TV multiple times. Plus, it'd be a nice call-back to their prime youth, when…

When he saw him on stage for the first time. When he saw him, and this level he desperately tried to reach times and times again after that.

His leg twitched again.

 _Fuck_.

"Sure, why not." he chose to say, the words tasting bitter on his tongue.

And yet the smile Akehoshi gave him became a sufficient reason for him to go, and to be glad to go.

Deep down, Koga knew no performance could ever shake him to his core like Trickstar's first one did. Because that's when he saw Akehoshi shine as brightly as the stars for the first time.

Perhaps, also, because that's when he fell in love.

Oh, if only he had realized it at the time. It would have spared them so much pain and anguish…

Koga let the cold breeze freeze his cheeks, hoping it would be as kind as to take the tears away with it.

All he wanted was to put an end to this encounter, go back home and bury himself under the sheets in hopes that his ride off to dreamland would last forever.

"Right. I'll keep you posted, then!" Akehoshi spoke up, hesitantly. "...Thanks, Gami-san."

Koga’s brow furrowed. "Thanks? For what?"

"For being you."

_Stop. Stop. Oh My God stop. Our story was over before it even had a chance to start. Don't try now. Don't give me this hope._

He put the idea of crying away, again.

Silence ensued.

"R-Right…Anyways, you have my new number, so…" Koga stammered. He wanted to be about anywhere but here right now. "But, um...You're welcome… _S-Subaru_."

Akehoshi almost dropped his phone in shock, looking at Koga like he just said the most outlandish thing ever. Hey, it wasn't _that_ big of a deal, besides—Hold on, was he _crying_?

"G-Geez, don't start crying for _that_!" Koga wanted to prove to himself that it was, in fact, nothing to cry about, but failed internally. "I just… Figured I could try it… Once…"

"Ah, no, it's just…" Subaru wiped a tear away, his smothered eyes still reflecting too much light. A moment later, he was chuckling. "It makes me happy! Thanks... _Koga_."

Koga —because yes, that was him, _Koga_ , that was his name, yes— forgot how to think, speak, and breathe for the instants that followed. Akehoshi just looked so… So _cute_ while saying his name like that! And yet it did nothing to stop the throbbing pain in his heart that only grew harsher.

Because, as silly as it was, this stupid _Gami-san_ was the only remnant of their shared past that hadn't been blown away by the whirlwind of time.

Was it a sign that they needed to move on?

"Okay, now it just sounds weird!" he blurted out in response, cheeks flushing red —because of the cold, of course—. "Coming from your mouth it's just...Yikes."

"Well, you calling me _Subaru_ does feel weird, too." The other admitted.

_Silence_.

"...Do you like it, though?"

Akehoshi smiled simply. "Yes. A lot."

"W-well I _kinda_ like it too, so… I guess we can continue like that…?"

_Silence_.

"I'd like that, yes."

_Silence_.

Koga, truthfully, never was a big fan of silence. It was awkward, boring, and served no purpose other than showing the time you wasted while you could be doing other thing that didn't involve said silence.

But somehow he got used to silence.

He looked at Akehoshi, who wasn't saying anything.

…He never said that was a good thing, though.

Subaru excused himself, said he had to go, but didn't forget to mention how much he loved seeing him again and how excited he was to see his good ol' pal at Trickstar's next live show.

And when the reassuring warmth of that smile disappeared, all that was left was the freezing breeze, that enveloped him, took him as a friend, embraced him to make him forget his pain. 

And, how could Koga ever forget his dearest friend;

Silence.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't you just hate it when you meet up with your old crush you haven't seen in ten years but all you get from it is depression


End file.
